There is a huge change in children’s behavior of late.There is a lot more happening in the background though,in their homes.There is an upsurge in the number of people working in the Corporate Sector,MNCs specifically.I am all for progress and societal empowerment.Better pay,more perks,more travel and parties with drinks on the house are part of the Corporate way of life.There is a different,unpleasant side to this though and it is affecting children’s progress as a student,in every classroom across schools.
Disclaimer : This is not a sermon.This post comes from a deep sense of concern of the changes happening in children’s behaviour and learning capabilities in the most crucial learning years of their life.
1.Your moral compass is different for you and for your family members.This simply doesn’t work.Children are extremely smart and sharp.They pick up cues from you as they grow up.
I heard a child studying in class 6 telling his friend that his father watches porn when his mother is away!Unfortunate for the child and the family,of course!
2.You spend more time with your professional counterparts than with your life partners.Don’t confuse the relationships.There is a clear line of difference between what is right and what is wrong.Flirting,having deep,personal conversations,texting at odd hours,meeting unnecessarily,travelling together all the time and having dinner with drinks simply create conditions to go wayward.Never forget your ‘why’ – why do you exist?why did you get married?why are you accountable?You cannot question your child then if he or she does the same and picks up bad habits at an early age.
3.If you always seek to gratify your senses – money,fame,sex and the like,you will be miserable all your life.While it might be great for the moment,it is fleeting and opens the doorway to conflicts.Remember,your happiness cannot be built on someone’s unhappiness or hatred.Your child will seek drugs and sex,reflecting your own standards.
4.Your life revolves around what you do,rather than who you are.You are a spouse,a parent first.If there’s a sick family member , a tragedy or a big celebration,you are more committed to be present where there are familial ties involved rather than emphasizing on your professional commitments.Your child will cite school/college as reasons (even if there are no exams or major school events)to escape social gatherings and responsibilities.
5.Sure,these days good looks are the ‘ in thing’ and it’s no wonder that men/women parlours are thriving and the cosmetics industry is flourishing.Anybody,just anybody can look good.True beauty lies in the goodness of heart,and the inherent goodness makes you beautiful and a kinder person.Your child will insist on buying branded cosmetics and the need to look good will precede all other interests.
6.Human life is precious.There are several opportunities when you can go astray.Other people might look more attractive,smarter but if you work on your family relationships with care,that can be the smartest,most attractive spouse and children you can ever have.You are always given what you deserve,nourish and nurture that properly and you will never be greedy about having more.Your children will understand that the family is something they can always bank upon for whatever challenges they face outside.
7.When you look at your job as a means of escape from your family commitments,you are putting tremendous pressure on the family that is unfair.Family first,always!There are instances when the spouse or child is suffering from chronic illness like cancer,thyroid related health issues that make them gain weight and look sick but the parent has chosen to abandon the family and work from far or worse,seek divorce.This puts immense pressure on the child and the parent coping with the health issue and definitely reflects in their overall attitude – that of dejection and rejection.It is probable that your attitude or neglect has created mental/physical health problems in the first place.Try to be supportive,gentle and empathetic and they will gain confidencs and better health.
8.If you look only at money power at the cost of the environment(nature),your children will have to work only for the environment.
9.Comparing your children with others will lower the child’s sense of self worth.Children are not your trophies for display.Keep communication channels open and build trust with children
10.Granting every wish or demand,however unreasonable,allowing more gadget time are not going to support your child in the long run.Please see this :https://journalmuse.net/2019/10/14/technology-n-parenting/
There are several couples who have a shared vision of bringing up a kind,caring family.Their children are diligent and responsible by nature.Yet the number of children who are defiant and disrespectful is increasing.And mostly it is because of the behavior and conflicts that children are facing at home.Taking a loving,mid path as a parent,while working upon yourself ,will definitely cause a shift.
What we need is a transformation by bringing our focus back to family,if we have to raise children that are born smart and beautiful, into wonderful citizens of the world.
So,build a loving family,take up a cause that all the members of your family believe in,spend time having meaningful conversations,show respect to your elders,practice self care(a short 5 minute meditation will always help) and revere the environment!If the institution of marriage and family is strong and has its values in place,then society will march towards progress that is holistic and healthy.More self care tips at : https://journalmuse.net/2019/09/22/simple-ways-to-take-care-of-your-self/